entitlement

"what is your background."

"marine science. why?"

"it's just that no one has ever been so specific"

maybe it is not about the background...ghee...not too bad for an old bird like me huh? good job!


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Quantitative Techniques

When my sister scored A3 for her 1119 when she was 17, my mom was soooooo happy. two years later i scored the same and she said, "A3? that's ok i guess". i always have that moment in my head when i am feeling insecure.

Last week we received the result of the QT (statistics la tu) exam. I got the same for Quantitative Technique as i got for development econ. But unlike before, when i was so happy that i scored as much, this time i was ok with it, but unsatisfied.

I finally understood my mother's statement. We just know that this achievement is achievable, we probably could have done better :)

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nasi bungkus ayam korma

A thread on fb with old friends reminded me of an incident while growing up. we were in university and money was a very limited commodity. because we receive scholarships, we were usually quite well-heeled early in the term, but come end of the term, we were usually 'kering' (dried up).

one day, during one of those lean times, neng and i calculated our money and realised we had about RM1.60 for lunch today - that's rice and one chicken. we decided that we were hungry and the solution would be to be totally shameless - we were going to share one nasi bungkus.

we went to the canteen and lined up. plate, paper, and plastic liner in hand we went to the rice bucket. took a whole mole hill of rice, plus lots of korma gravy and one piece of skinny chicken. the guy behind the counter shook his head at our nasi bungkus because he couldnt even wrap it up. we paid the RM1.60, took it up to neng's room to eat.

that was one of the best meal i have ever had.

baci:j

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Making the Grade

Happy to report that we got our results for the Development Economics modules and yours truly is very very happy with her achievement. Not the best, mind you, but satisfactory. Yay! Thank you, God!

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Italian GP

1. smells good
2. looks really good
3. showers regularly
4. reads
5. loves to travel
6. loves the family
7. curious about others
8. single
9. intelligent
10. committed to finding someone right instead of someone right now

There is a lot of potential in this. I am really looking forward to exploring this further :)

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The education of juya

This year seems to be a year of firsts; crowding into the list are:-

1. First Opera: Aida (24th January)
2. First Ballet: Sleeping Beauty (11th February)

THIS is the Rome that I love! :) cant wait!

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Playing a Role

Leading to coming here to get me some education, I talked myself to death about my fears, my challenges, my aspirations and my dreams to my friends. Thinking to make clear my thoughts, I never really thought about the effect these internal conversations have on my the people around me. Today, Naa wrote me a long email about 'her move', which let loose my tears uncontrollably. It's been so long since I cried, I am glad these are happy tears. I am happy that I made an impact on her life and that my presence helped in any way at all to give her courage.

A few days ago I wrote in passing about Marianna Williamson's 'biggest fear'. I think it deserves a bigger space today. When you know that you have touched someone else's life in a good way, you know that feeling? It's a damn good feeling, isnt it?

I am happy today.

Va, bene.

"Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson, Return to Love ~

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